Kenya, the nation of zero chills

In 2002, during and after the general elections, Kenyans were voted the most optimistic people in the world. Not in East Africa, or Africa but the whole bleeding world. The voter turnout during that election was record breaking. For the first time, the whole country united in voting for one person irrespective of age, gender and most importantly, tribe.
That man was sworn in- in a wheelchair.
Everyone was happy, hopeful of the future and temporarily forgot about their tribes. Temporarily. Tourism shot up. The whole world over, Kenya’s star shone bright and the nation became a model example of how a peaceful, optimistic country looked like.
Fast forward 12 years later. How time flies by, by the way.
We’ve become an angry nation. An impatient nation. A people full of hatred, suspicion and dislike towards their neighbors because of tribal differences. This acidity is evident everywhere you look. The anger is palpable. Abuses fly right left and centre and on social media we have found the place to be unforgiving, careless and bitter Kenyans.
Lest you get confused, I’m not talking about the government or our leaders here. Today is not the day where we talk about how careless this government has become. Or uncompromising. Or about how it is on a mission to stamp the truth from the masses by jailing any blogger that tries to point out its mistakes. Like in the instance of one county where a lady was arrested for pointing out that a hospital lacked water and other basic facilities. Which is ironic really, because despite the country having had more than 50 terrorist attacks in different counties, not a single terrorist has been brought to book. Not one. Pause and digest that.
Today is not the day we talk about how the government hasn’t fulfilled any of the promises they made, less than 24 months to the end of their term. No, today is not the time.
Today we are here for the laughs. A paradox, really, because behind it all, there is a sad fact. The fact that all we’ve become is an angry people who wait for the current hot topic of the day to spew venom and vitriol. Because that is all we’ve become good at. The sunsetter herself included. What else is there to do? The frustrations are too much.
So we sit back, wait for the trending topic, draw daggers at each other online, use curse words, swear, unashamedly and abuse each other for the fun of it and because, yes, we can. They call it banter, folks on twitter who spew this nastiness to complete strangers.
The earlier we accept each other for who we have become the better. That we are nothing but loud mouths, empty masters of sardonic humour. Not to only make fun of others but to somehow feel better about ourselves while at it.
I love this country. Where journalists bare their dirty laundry in the open during their online fights for all and sundry. And politicians call each other names on social media without a care in the world. At first, it was sarcasm that greeted you when you interacted with Kenyans online. Today we are grimly mocking each others eyebrows, lunch and waxing cynical about this and that while stating that “ It is never that serious”. Banter.
If you “catch” as a result, someone will remind you that this space – “si ya mama yako”. What will follow is a spewing of demeaning comments that will pile more misery to the subject and laughter for the smart asses hammering at the keyboard. Occasionally, some neutral comment like “Wueh, zero Chills” will comfort those under the cosh of the banter battalion.
Kenyans Online now are loud, brass, and dangerously insane. Looks like the devil has made himself a permanent resident in the heart of some. For some, a day is not complete before some unpleasant witticisms are shared on one platform or another.
I sampled a few random tweets and facebook comments that made me shake my head, laugh out loud and confirmed to me that we are a nation beyond help. If you doubt it, look at the 3 media houses online profiles and read the comments coming from Kenyans.