Love Triangle Between Samidoh and Two Wives Is An Interesting Case Study.

This love story has been unfolding right before our eyes like the unpredictable soap opera it is. From drama to tantrums to threats, to Eddah and Karen fighting on stage while Samidoh watches and does nothing and Karen being manhandled and getting thrown off the stage by bouncers.

It doesn’t get juicier than this.

Am I the only person who seems to think that these three are in this together and are probably somewhere always laughing at the type of fights their “teams” engage in online?

Say what you might but at the end of the day all three are winning. Edday might come online to rant and vow never to be in a polygamous marriage but at the end of the day, this scandal has given her more power than she would ever have had. Suddenly she has hundreds of thousands of followers, she has a voice and even a self proclaimed title, “Queen of goat wives.” She relishes all the people claiming to love and pray for her, she basks and enjoys all the attention she gets from the media, which is why anytime people start forgetting about them she will come up with a controversial hashtag or lengthy paragraph that will catch the media’s attention and get them back to where they need to be; at the top of the food chain when it comes to matter gossip.

Gossip has made sure both Karen and Edday have stayed relevant for as long as need be; why would they relinquish that? Karen has stayed relevant enough to be nominated in parliament and Edday has earned brand ambassador deals she could only have dreamt of. Secretly, both women wish each other a long life so that they can be able to continue making a living from gullible Kenyans.

More than Five long years where both women have on different occasions threatened to walk away from that marriage and none has dared to. And you want to tell me there are no benefits to all the attention they are getting? Who would blame them? I know I don’t.

If Edday wanted to walk away she would have done so a long time ago. Women who want to leave don’t go announcing it to the whole world. They pull a May Yul. They just wake up and walk away like none of it mattered. They don’t threaten or cry or make noise on social media. They know what needs to be done and they do it swiftly and quietly. They make it look so easy, even though we know it ain’t easy (like in May’s case) to throw away more than 20 years of a laborious marriage.

I call Samidoh’s a triangular marriage because let’s face it, with two kids and after the very long, very public relationship that Karen has been having with Samidoh, theirs cannot be described as anything short of a marriage. Samidoh knows, karen knows and everyone else knows it. Only Edday chooses to bury her head in the sand but even the truth hits her on the face occasionally, as evident with her utterances such as when she proclaimed herself to be the “queen of goat wives.” Or when she said she refuses to be in a polygamous marriage. Meaning even she realises Karen has become a second wife.

I admire how Edday – timid, naive looking Edday- has mastered the art of playing with her followers emotions and perfected the act of making sure she stays on everyone’s tongues. All while playing the victim’s card (#nothingbutprayers). As a goat wife, you have to act wounded at all times, play the hurt teenage lover that has been betrayed deeply after suffering for all those years with your man.

However, Edday is bright and far from Naive. You’ll notice a pattern with her posts, calling for sympathy indirectly and posting tbt photos every once in a month to remind her followers of how far she and her husband have come. She knows how to whip her goat Wife following emotions to a frenzy – and she does it in such a subtle way you won’t realise it.

Karen on the other hand, doesn’t help her course. She seems to be doing too much. She reacts almost all the time. Most of her posts are reactionary posts to what the other two parties in the marriage are doing. Rest assured that if Edday posts something that touches a nerve, Karen will react. Birthday photos of the other family? Worry not. Trust on Karen to pull up something similar the next day, even if the photos are from 3 months ago.

She seems to be a nice, kindhearted girl (husband said so himself while letting on that Karen sometimes gives tenders to the goat wife) that doesn’t have a plan. Which proves that she genuinely could be in love with Samidoh. A girl in love doesn’t have time to formulate plans because she is busy thinking using her heart.

Welcome to Kenya, where chances of you meeting the love of your life after you are married with two or more kids seem to be the norm. How many of you are married to people you have zero feelings for? How many of you are in marriages where you secretly loathe and cannot stand your partners, marriages where love is dead, where unhappiness reigns supreme but you would rather die than pursue that which makes you happy?

Are we headed to an era where marriage isn’t a do or die affair? Look at both Karen And Edday’s teams. Split in the middle by numbers. Everyone has their die hard zealots, none outnumbered. Edday has a huge number of supporters; but so does Karen. The men, as expected, will stand with their own (as they always do) quietly throwing in a word or two to support Samidoh when the heat has become too much. To most of them, he is the hero they wish to emulate but won’t dare because their wives would kill them (figuratively)

Recently, Edday has declared she has broken up with Samidoh and isn’t going back to Kenya. She claims she has no intention of getting back to *insert abusive word to describe a promiscuous man.*

Which means we are watching as single motherhood unravels for her. Now all those people that derive pleasure in calling single mothers all sorts of names can sit back, watch and understand that there is no formula to this situation called single motherhood.

You could be in a steady marriage with a lot of kids. Married to the man you’ve loved since all those years ago. A man, as many goat wives love to say, that you “washed” and “made him who he is today.” You could be all these and wake up 20 years later single and raising your kids alone. Imagine Edday as a single mother…..she that has been a wife almost all of her life. Do you think it will be easy for her? Not really, but soon the same minions that were shouting for her to leave her marriage and get a better man will be the same people calling her names and ridiculing her for leaving her marriage.

Like I said, there is no formula to these things.

Whether polygamy is a practise that needs to be abolished by Africans at this point or carried foward is a topic for another day. I have no opinion on the same, just that everyone should do whatever makes them happy. Time as we know it, is a solver of everything. But time also kills everything. That’s the number one law of nature – everything ages.. everything dies. Times takes away life. From plants, to animals, to buildings ; you name it. To human beings. Life is not guaranteed, tomorrow is not guaranteed. Should people pursue their happiness at all costs? Maybe, maybe not. Who am I to say? All is know is life is too short not to be happy.

Have you ever considered the fact that Karen could be Samidoh’s happiness? Genuine, unfiltered happiness? Poor man, what do you expect him to do under such circumstances? Have you never been in love…the kind of love where you abandoned logic for passion?

I admire Edday’s resilience especially after all she has been through, it couldn’t have been easy. I also admire how she is turning around the situation in her favour, Making lemonades with all the lemons being thrown her way.

Which is crazy because I also admire Samidoh and Karen for going after that which made them happy. It’s super hard, in a world where no one would understand them and everyone would blame and call them all sorts of names. It takes courage to do what they have done.

At the end of the day, who is the loser and who is the winner in this chess game? No one, because everyone loses some and wins some and worth noting is the fact that happiness comes at a cost. But so does everything else.