I told you guys how a few days ago I woke up in my mother’s house in the village, surrounded by the smell of mandazis, laughter and the kind of peace I haven’t felt in years. I found it hard to wrap my mind around the fact that for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t thinking about deadlines, rent or WiFi. I was just… still. Or, as we millennials love to say, I was just there.
It made me wonder how we got to this place where peace feels like a luxury and exhaustion is the norm? We live in a world that glorifies hustle, and rest induces guilt. Where rest is viewed as laziness and self-worth is tied to how much we earn or how fast we climb the ladder.
But truly, who ever found happiness in constant motion? What if slowing down is the very thing our hearts have been craving all along?
When foreigners first landed in Africa, they thought our forefathers were poor, lazy and lacked ambition. What if – hear me out – they were the civilized ones, living in those mud houses all those years ago which experts are now finding out were way ahead of their time? What now? These huts that cool off the temperature when it is too hot and maintain warmth in the house when it is too cold. Or the pots (just like the one my grandmother had) that always kept her water as cold as any modern fridge?
I am digressing of course, but my point is that, what if our forefathers already discovered what living life in happiness was all about? One cannot help but wonder then, what they would think if they woke up now and saw the way we are living, as if we are constantly at war with life itself.
This phrase rat race gets thrown around a lot, but what it really means is the endless, exhausting pursuit of more. Everyone is chasing more money, more titles, more possessions and constantly after approval. In layman’s terms, you are in a cycle that demands you work harder to afford a lifestyle that needs you to work even harder.
It always starts innocently. Say, you want to provide for your families. So you build stability and maybe enjoy a few comforts along the way. But then while chasing dreams and paying bills, you lose sight of why you’re running in the first place.
You do not even have to go far. Just take a look around you and if you are in Nairobi, you will notice how we mistake busyness for purpose. You wake up early, fight traffic, hustle through the day, scroll through social media comparing your progress to others, then fall into bed too tired to think. Repeat process.
Normalise process.
The rat race thrives on fear of falling behind and of not being enough. Do you know the saddest part? How most of us don’t even realize we’ve become part of the rat race. It usually is disguised as ambition or responsibility. But….the signs are always there, albeit subtle at first. You might be trapped in the rat race if:
You’re constantly exhausted regardless of how well you rest. Your body may stop, but your mind never does. If you aren’t planning then you are worrying or chasing the next thing.
You feel guilty when you’re not working. Rest feels unearned, relaxation feels like wasted time (Hmmmmm)Your self-worth depends on your output. Therefore, if you’re not achieving, you feel like you’re failing.
You’re living paycheck to paycheck despite working hard (hmmmmm). The more you earn, the more you spend…..and contentment always seems one salary raise away.
You rarely feel joy in what you do anymore. Your job? It becomes survival and not fulfillment.
You compare your progress to others. And this is where a majority fail because at the end of the day, there will always be someone that is doing better, earning more, living louder than you.
You’ve forgotten how to be still. Silence makes you restless. You think of it as idleness. You reach for your phone, your laptop, your distractions (hmmmmm).
How to Begin Stepping Out
As tempting as it sounds, leaving the rat race doesn’t mean quitting your job, selling all your possessions and moving to the village. I say tempting because I have occasionally thought of moving to the village and building a mud hut (haha).
Leaving the rat race is about redefining what a meaningful life looks like on your own terms.
Here are a few ways to begin:
1. Re-evaluate your definition of success. Ask yourself what making it truly means to you and not what society thinks it should mean. What is success to you? A corner office or a fancy car…..or just peace of mind? To others simply being present for their loved ones is enough.
2. Live within your means. The rat race feeds on lifestyle inflation whereby, the more you earn, the more you spend. We have forgotten the art of Dolce far Niente, where simplicity is freedom. Sometimes, all we need is to celebrate the small wins like not owing anyone, paying your bills on time and wanting those sausages that were a luxury growing up
3. Reconnect with people and nature. Spend time with your family. Take walks without your phone and visit the village once in a while. When last did you listen to your mother’s laughter and felt the soil between your fingers? Wealth comes in different forms.
4. Work with purpose, not just for a paycheck. Yes, we all need to earn a living. But at what cost? our joy? Try to find or create work that nourishes you.
5. Protect your peace. Your mental health isn’t negotiable. Learn to say no and to rest when you need to. Step back when things get loud. You don’t owe the world your constant availability Actually, you don’t owe the world sh*t.
In the village, life moves slowly. The sun rises when it’s ready and tea brews at its own pace. People are not glued to their phones constantly. They actually look up long enough to talk and laugh together. That’s the part that stays with me. The way everyone is content with whatever is available. The enoughness of it all. Maybe that’s what stepping out of the rat race truly means. It is all about reclaiming our peace.
We don’t even have to quit everything, but just to remember that life is about living.
And maybe, just maybe, the finish line we’ve all been chasing was never out there in the first place. Maybe there is no finish line. Maybe it is just a circle … .a treadmill that never stops. Maybe the finish line is a paradox in the stillness, simplicity and in the love we so often rush past.
