I remember my first ever trip out of the country. It looks like such a long time ago. I had just turned 18 years, armed with a temporary passport and a head full of dreams. With me I also had just enough money to make my first trip out of the country. I don’t know if people still go to Uganda to bring clothes, handbags and other stuff for boutiques, but back then Uganda was everyone’s choice for boutique owners because of how cheap their items were. I think now almost everyone sources from China.
So off I went to Kampala. I even remember being left by Modern coast (back then Modern coast was the It bus) because I was 6 minutes late. Luckily, they placed me on the next bus from Mombasa to Nairobi so I could connect with the Kampala bus from there. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified. I had never crossed a border alone before, and everything about that moment made me painfully aware of how young and naive I was.
At the border, inside the immigration office, a man approached me with a friendly smile and an offer to speed up the process for a small fee. He claimed they would never allow me pass with a temporary passport, or some nonsense story I can’t even remember well. I got into my purse and got some money. I would have given it to him, if it weren’t for the fact that he told me in a quiet but panicky voice not to give it in public glare. That I should hide the money so no one could know I was bribing him. Alarm bells rose, and luckily for me, a young guy that was silently watching this back and forth stepped in. He warned me, explained what was happening and helped me through the paperwork. Later, when I reached Kampala, this Ugandan guy even showed me where to shop, just out of kindness.
We became friends for years until like 5 years ago when we lost touch. He even came to Mombasa several times with his wife, and I always would willingly show them around. It was my turn to pay back the kindness, you see.
Paul, if you ever see this, you know what to do.
That trip changed something in me. It was the first time I understood that fear and courage travel side by side. It also showed me that sometimes, the world meets your uncertainty with unexpected grace.
Lesson One: Courage Isn’t the Absence of Fear
People often imagine solo travellers as fearless – backpack on and maps memorized. But, the truth is that courage has very little to do with fearlessness. Courage is moving anyway even when your heart won’t stop racing.
I remember waking up that first morning in Kampala, unsure of what to do next. The city was loud and alive in a way that both thrilled and overwhelmed me. But I also remember the adrenaline of being in a new city, young and alone. I felt alive. It is a feeling I have always wanted to replicate, even years later. It began my adventure and love for travel. On that morning in Kampala, I didn’t know anyone except the kind stranger from the border. Every small task like finding food, negotiating a boda boda (I remember how scary they were, they were all over the place even in the CBD) or walking through crowded market streets felt like an act of bravery.
I learned that courage doesn’t always shout. Sometimes, it shows up as you pretend to know where you’re going, or when you take a deep breath and step into the unknown anyway.
That trip taught me that fear is not the enemy of courage but the soil it grows from. Every time I bargained for bags and shoes and jeans and all else, with a calculator at hand so I could convert the prices, I built the kind of strength no one could teach me but only experience can.
Lesson Two: Solitude Is a Mirror, Not a Prison
Since that first trip to Uganda, I’ve found myself on many more journeys. I have been to three other African countries and countless towns across Kenya – each one stretching me a little further beyond what I thought I could handle. I’ve slept in tiny guesthouses as well as 5 star hotels. I have been to beautiful villas across various towns along the Kenyan coast. I eaten meals alone in bustling cafés and mama ntilies’ and stood quietly at the edge of places so beautiful they felt unreal.
one of the beautiful places I have been to as a solo traveller.
https://sunsetinafrica.co.ke/traveling-on-a-budget-road-trip-to-dar-es-salaam/
Somewhere between border stamps and bus tickets, I realized that solitude isn’t loneliness. It’s a mirror. When you travel alone, there’s no one to hide behind. You have to make quick decisions by yourself with no one to consult. You start to notice who you are when no one is watching. You get to know what makes you nervous, what makes you laugh and what truly makes you happy.
With every trip, I’ve become bolder because I’ve learned that fear passes and the reward for moving through it is freedom. I’ve met strangers who became stories, and stories that turned into friendships. Like the kind British man I met on a flight back from Lamu. We talked the whole way about travel and what it means to feel at home in the world. He’s still a friend to this day, a reminder that even fleeting encounters can lead to meaningful friendships.
https://sunsetinafrica.co.ke/takwa-ruins-the-tale-of-an-abandoned-city/
Solo travel taught me that being alone doesn’t mean being disconnected. The more I’ve embraced solitude, the more I’ve found connection with people, places, and most importantly, with myself.
Lesson Three: The World Is Kinder Than We’re Taught to Believe
When I first started travelling alone, everyone warned me to be careful. And they were right, of course. As women, safety is something we can’t take lightly. But somewhere along the way, I discovered a different truth too. That the world, for the most part, is kind.
I’ve met people who had no reason to help me but did anyway. A boda boda rider who waited until I safely entered my hotel before leaving, a market woman who taught me a few words in her language and countless strangers who pointed me in the right direction when I got hopelessly lost.
Not to forget the local hotels that added me heaps of different foods to try out once they learnt I was not from that place. Yes, there have been uncomfortable moments. For instance the awkward stares or the sellers who increased prices immediately they learnt I was a foreigner. But for every bad encounter is a gesture of generosity and shared humanity. The more I travelled, the more I realized that kindness is a universal language that you just have to be open enough to see.
It’s easy to believe the world is dangerous when you’ve never stepped beyond your comfort zone. But once you do, you start to notice how many people are out there trying, in their own small ways, to make it a kinder place.
Lesson Four: You Are Your Own Home
After years of travelling alone, I’ve learned that the greatest destination is comfort in your own company.
Not the biggest or most flamboyant city in the world. Solo travel has a way of peeling back layers you didn’t even know existed. What started out as travelling to see the world slowly turned to me travelling to meet myself again and again in new forms. Each journey has shown me that home is something you carry within you.
Enjoying a sunset at the shores of one of the most beautiful beaches I have ever been to.
I’ve learned to sit with silence and not rush to fill it. I’ve learned to walk into new places with confidence, even when I don’t know the local language or a single soul there. I’ve learned that being alone doesn’t mean being incomplete. It means being whole enough to walk into the world and experience it fully, without fear of who you’ll find there or who you’ll be when you return.
The best part is how now whenever I pack a bag, it’s not about escaping life but expanding it. Every border crossed has softened me and strengthened me at the same time. It has taught me that the truest kind of freedom is feeling at home in yourself, wherever you go.
When I look back at that eighteen year old girl crossing her first border, I almost don’t recognize her. Scared, uncertain and clutching her temporary passport a little too tightly. She was ambitious and eager and, in many ways, the reason I am who I am today.
Travelling alone has been the most honest conversation I’ve ever had with myself. It has taught me that bravery isn’t loud and that kindness is everywhere if you look closely. That the best stories often begin when you decide to stop waiting for company.
Every journey has changed me – quietly, like water smoothing a stone.
Do’s and Don’ts for the Solo Female Traveller
Do’s
✅ Do trust your instincts. If a place, person, or situation doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Listen to that inner voice because it’s your best compass.
✅ Do share your itinerary with someone you trust. Whether it’s a sibling, friend or parent, let someone know where you’ll be and when.
✅ Do learn a few local phrases. Even a simple “thank you” or “good morning” can open hearts (sometimes doors) wherever you go.
✅ Do carry a copy of your passport and essential documents. Keep the originals safely locked away when you can.
✅ Do allow yourself to say yes. To new friends, new foods, new experiences. As long as they feel safe and right to you.—
Don’ts
❌ Don’t over share your travel plans with strangers. Be friendly, but vague. There’s a fine line between openness and vulnerability.
❌ Don’t ignore your boundaries to be polite. You don’t owe anyone your time, your story or your comfort.
❌ Don’t pack your fears with you. The world is not always kind, but it’s not always cruel either. Leave a little room in your bag for trust and wonder.
❌ Don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s. You’re not late. You’re not behind. You’re exactly where you need to be.
The world is vast and unpredictable, yes, but it’s also full of kindness waiting at border posts. The world is never short of laughter shared between strangers and stories that find you when you least expect them. Ultimately, every solo journey is about who you become along the way.
