We have all witnessed this at one point in life. Relationships that are struggling to conceive, but the investigation beginning with the woman. As someone who worked in a diagnostic and imaging clinic, I saw it all the time. A lone woman coming in to carry out infertility tests. All the time, i remember wondering where these women’s husbands were.
It is always the woman being asked uncomfortable questions at family gatherings. Also the only one advised to seek prayers, herbs, hormonal treatment or medical intervention. It is always the woman being blamed when months turn into years without a pregnancy. Meanwhile, the possibility that the issue could lie with the man often remains untouched. And not because it is medically unlikely, but because culturally, many societies still struggle to separate masculinity from fertility.
It is no secret that across Africa and much of the world, infertility continues to carry a highly gendered narrative. A childless marriage is frequently viewed as a woman’s “failure,” even though medical science has long established that infertility affects both men and women. In many cases, male infertility is either ignored or denied, only to be discovered far too late because testing the man is treated almost like an insult to his identity.
And yet, according to doctors and fertility specialists, male infertility is far more common than many people realise.
Low sperm count, poor sperm motility, abnormal sperm shape, hormonal imbalances, infections, lifestyle factors and underlying health conditions can all affect a man’s fertility. In fact, modern sperm banks reportedly reject the overwhelming majority of potential donors because many applicants fail to meet required fertility and health standards. Shock on you – that very healthy looking man you are romanticizing to be highly fertile simply does not match medical reality.
Still, for many men, confronting infertility feels emotionally devastating. In societies where manhood is closely linked to virility, strength and the ability to father children, infertility can feel less like a medical condition and more like a personal humiliation. Some men avoid testing entirely while others blame their partners, refusing examinations themselves. Some move from relationship to relationship believing the “problem” is always the woman (very common this one. Ohh, if denial was a gender).
The silence surrounding male infertility has consequences, especially for women.
Many women spend years undergoing painful treatments. They take medication and visit fertility clinics, all the while carrying emotional guilt, before their partners ever agree to a simple sperm analysis. Some endure ridicule from relatives and communities despite never being the cause of the fertility struggle in the first place. In deeply patriarchal settings, women are sometimes pressured into silence to protect the dignity of their husbands, even when the medical evidence points elsewhere.
This is an emotional burden that can quietly destroy relationships. It builds resentment and shame. Communication breaks down and because infertility is rarely discussed openly, many couples suffer in isolation.
What makes the issue even more urgent is that fertility challenges appear to be increasing globally. Researchers have repeatedly raised concerns about declining sperm quality worldwide. While scientists continue debating the exact causes, many point toward factors such as stress, smoking, alcohol use, obesity, poor diet, environmental toxins, sedentary lifestyles, heat exposure and delayed parenthood.
Still, cultural attitudes seem to not be evolving at all.
In many communities, a man admitting fertility problems is still treated as unthinkable. Male infertility remains wrapped in jokes or outright aggression. Lets not even start on the denial part. Conversations around reproductive health continue to focus overwhelmingly on women, reinforcing the dangerous idea that fertility is primarily a female responsibility. But It should not be.
Infertility should be treated as a couple’s issue, not a woman’s burden alone. Medical experts often recommend that both partners undergo testing early when conception difficulties arise…together. not the woman alone, and definitely not the man accompanying his wife to a clinic for her to be tested. A sperm analysis is neither invasive nor shameful, and early diagnosis can save couples years of blame and emotional pain.
Society has spent generations teaching women to carry the emotional consequences of infertility while allowing men to avoid vulnerability at all costs. Until those ideas change, many couples will continue suffering behind closed doors, trapped between science and stigma.
Africa, like the rest of the world, needs a more honest conversation about male fertility, one rooted not in blame or humiliation, but in shared responsibility and truth.
