Is polygamy a sin?
I guess it depends on who you are asking. If it is a man, they will answer you strongly, complete with evidence from the Bible about how polygamy has been there since time immemorial. With a twinkle in his eye and his voice raised higher than usual, he’ll tell you how even God’s favorite men had more than two wives.
Men, as you are all aware, love defending polygamy.
But what do you expect, when everyone that wrote the Bible was a man. From Genesis to Revelation, every single writer. I have always wondered, when alone, idle and brooding with a mind that is all over the place, how come most of the women who made it into the Bible were painted as badly behaved?? Topic for another day, lest I invoke the spirits of the dead and be branded a blasphemer. They do say after all, to let the sleeping dogs lie.
But no, really, what does this say about the men that wrote the Bible?
What about Polyandry? This is the question that will be shot back at you when you ask a woman what their opinion on polygamy is. They will come armed with evidence to back their claims too that it is not in nature’s best interest for a woman to have just one man. They will tell you that historically, Polyandry has been practiced in a few societies like Tibet, Nepal and northern India. Often, it was linked to economic reasons, like brothers sharing a wife so family land wouldn’t be divided. Closer home, they will quote how the Masai comfortably shared their women and it was never an issue or how among the Akamba it was expected of a wife to make sure that she did not sire all her children from the same man.
Fascinating, right?
Well, the kamba community believed that children from different fathers would be healthier or wiser because they carried varied bloodlines, creating diversity in the family to avoid weakness or bad luck being passed down from just one lineage.
But wait, there is more! Even though the Kamba society was patriarchal, some traditions were matrilineal in spirit. Children often identified more with the mother’s household, therefore encouraging multiple fathers diluted the authority of a single man over the woman and her children. Can you believe that? Reread it….slowly this time.
The biggest reason for encouraging some African women to have kids with different men however, was because It was feared that if a woman had all her children with one man, misfortune like sickness or death could wipe out the whole family line. It was all about mitigating risk, you see.
And our forefathers, to put it mildly, were very intelligent and cannot be faulted for their choices. Forgive me for drifting … .a vice I am quite notorious for. Where were we?
Ahh, polygamy and whether it is a sin.
But before we talk about morality, what does the law say?
The 2014 Marriage Act, the main law governing marriage in Kenya recognizes different types of marriages, with those under customary law or Islamic law presumed to be potentially polygamous. That means the law acknowledges that in those contexts, a man may take more than one wife.
Meanwhile, Christian, Hindu and Civil marriages are strictly monogamous; under those forms, one cannot have more than one spouse.
So basically, it all boils down to what your culture or religion permits.
My biggest issue with the Marriage Act is that a group of men in parliament struck out the clause that required the first wife’s consent before a husband could take another wife. Why? Not requiring consent of existing wives violates constitutional principles of equality. Where is the fairness in marrying a second, third or whatever wife without informing those before her?
A polygamous setting that denies existing wives their rights to consent and equality is dead on arrival.
Back to the question of whether polygamy is sinful, i”ll say it depends less on universal truth and more on the lens through which it is judged. In many African communities or Middle Eastern and Asian societies, polygamy has long been a part of their cultural identity and family structures. In these societies, marrying several wives was a status symbol of wealth and survival strategies. Here, it is viewed as a practical and even honorable way of extending kinship and securing lineage.
By contrast, in Christian-dominated societies shaped by Western ideals of marriage, polygamy is often condemned as sinful while being equated to lust or infidelity. In this way, we agree that morality is not always absolute and that what is called a sin in one faith or culture may be seen as ordinary life practice in another.
What I find hypocritical is that the men shouting themselves hoarse in support of polygamy never own it with their full chest. They will talk about polygamy, but in reality they just want to have a wife, a side chic, a mpango wa kando and a booty call.
They preach polygamy, but what they really mean is one wife and several side pieces.
That is their version of polygamy. Bro, walk the talk. If you truly are about that life, bring home that woman to your wife and let us see how it pans out. Do not be a coward, ehh?
I also laugh in a way that pleases the Lord anytime a married man swears his wife can never cheat on him. I know of so many, but their men would die on that hill of their wives’ loyalty. Personally, this only goes to show that the worn out line about men being monogamous in nature is old and tired. I mean, even Eve wandered off before poor Adam knew what was happening.
The truth is, when it comes to polygamy or polyandry, everyone is guilty. Who said it is in women’s nature to stay faithful to the same person for the rest of their lives? Do you know how many hot, good looking men the world has?
Whatever is good for the goose, is good for the gander, so they say. It is in no one’s nature to stay monogamous, only that women have better self control and respect their partners. Which reminds me, how come most of the women that made it to the holy book were a certain type….the one that society wouldn’t consider morally upright?
Like MIlly Odhaimbo once famously said, good girls never get the corner office.
Is polygamy a sin?
Do not ask me, I wouldn’t know. I do not believe in much, other than everybody should do that which makes them happy. Are we not, after all, in the constant pursuit of that high called happiness? Maybe the real sin isn’t in loving many, but in pretending to be what you are not.
