Somewhere along the evolution of human communication, we went from handwritten love letters to sending “K.”
Progress….right? Isn’t texting, after all, supposed to be convenient? Efficient and modern? Instead, it has become a psychological battlefield where tone is imagined and three dots (…) can send you up a wall.
The Rise of “Noted.”
Somewhere on X (twitter) I saw a tweet that said Kenyans use the word “kindly” so passive aggressively, and that no one ever uses it in polite context. Especially when used as a sentence by itself, at the end of a paragraph. Then it becomes a threat. In the same vein, nobody says “noted” with peace in their heart.
“Noted” is not agreement or enthusiasm. Neither is it acknowledgment. It is emotional distance in one word.
You send a paragraph explaining your feelings and receive Noted.
Somehow this word escaped the HR department and entered friendships and relationships. And every time you see it, you know that the party that texted it is either mad mad or simply uninterested in whatever you have to say. Me personally (don’t correct my grammar please, in this context it is correct) when I use the word, I am mad mad.
The Terror of “K.”
Add two more K’s and …..
So, there are few things more violent than a standalone “K.”
That single letter carries either mild irritation, passive aggression, disappointment or a subtle desire to end the conversation immediately (not so subtle actually.) You will reread your previous message five times trying to figure out what you did wrong.
“K” is a warning, a warning that you need to rethink your next response very carefully.
K.
The 7 Minute Voice Note Criminal
Voice notes were invented for convenience, so why are we receiving podcast episodes?
You open a voice note expecting 20 seconds but it says 6:48.
Now you must sit down and charge your phone. If two minutes pass by without you saying anything, the sender starts calling you, kuna kitu nimekutumia whatsapp hebu check. It doesn’t even matter if you are amongst other people, voice notes (especially gossip ones) must be listened to and a response sent ASAP. Now you have to excuse yourself and go listen to that 7 minute voice note keenly, possibly take notes because you know, tea is urgent business.
And then, halfway through, they say, “Anyway that’s not even the main thing…”
Excuse me? There’s more? At this point, voice notes that last longer than 2 minutes should come with chapter headings.
The “…” Emotional Rollercoaster
Nothing spikes anxiety like seeing someone typing…
You watch the three dots…they disappear…they return.
Disappear again.
Twenty minutes later they are still appearing and disappearing! Now you are emotionally invested. And then – nothing.
They vanish.
Were they angry? Did they rethink their life?
Did they drop their phone?
I guess we may never know.
The Seen Era
Back in the day, we use to be ignored or ignore quietly. Even with curving, you would be curved so gracefully you wouldn’t even realise it’s happening.
Now, you are ignored very loudly.
You see:
“Seen 2:14 PM.”
It is now 7:42 PM and they are online.
They have posted a status and changed their profile picture, but your message remains in digital limbo.
Between this and being in the middle of a heated argument, replying Voraciously to a message that had you sitting up only to realise you cannot see their profile picture in the middle of writing the paragraph, I do not know which one is worse.
The Overuse of Dear
Let’s also address the people who start casual conversations with “Dear.”
“Dear, where are you?” Arrrggg mimi nayo hapana. There is something about that word that irks me.
Am I in trouble? Is this an invoice?
Are we about to discuss policy changes?
The truth is, texting removed tone but kept emotion.
So now we read between the lines of punctuation. A period can feel aggressive. A single emoji can feel cold, while too many emojis can feel unstable. Especially when someone sends 20 laughing emojis in the middle of an argument (serial killer vibes tbh).
We are decoding hieroglyphics in real time 😂😂😂😂😂😂👹👹👹
And yet, despite all this chaos, we continue.
We continue to send “lol” when we did not laugh, to type “sure” when we are anything but.
We continue to say “noted” like middle managers managing absolutely nothing.
Maybe 2026 is the year we reclaim texting joy.
Or maybe we will still be arguing over “K.”
Noted.
