We are living in very interesting times, where after breaking up with a woman he legally got married to, a man can stand tall and without blinking demand for the dowry he sent to her home in form of cows!
It’s not even the asking for the cows that was disrespectful, it was the how they were demanded for, complete with ring lights, cameras and microphones.
As in, the ex husband in question woke up one morning and decided he wanted his cows back. He then sent a text message relaying the same to the family, sent a date that he intended to do so (I wonder if there was any agreement or he just set the date by himself) and then sent “influencers” to go and collect the cows on his behalf!
I wonder how they went about it. Did they get on the gate and go about the business of setting up their equipment before finally declaring, “action!”
How many takes did they have to do?
“Take two, hio haikutokea poa!” I can hear them saying. Or, rewind that, light haiko poa hapo.
What was this exactly, dowry reclaiming or content creation?
I understand content has to content by all and any means….but, wueh! Where do we draw the line with content creation?
Anyway, we are at the point where even the act of paying dowry itself is beginning to look questionable, like, what’s the point really?
Back then, our forefathers paid dowry because marriage was truly binding and even the thought of separation was unheard of. There is no word for divorce in African languages, just so you know. It was like once you got married, you resigned yourself to whatever fate awaited you in that union.
If a couple separated, relatives from both sides sat down and solved the problem ASAP so that the two could get back together. When a woman went back to her home because of a quarrel, her family would travel the next day or the one after, regardless of how far the distance was to settle the dispute.
This at a time when there were no vehicles or motorbikes. Back then, marriage was serious business and any man worth his salt had to pay dowry. A man that was unable to pay dowry was considered a failure that was unable to do the bare minimum for his wife.
And bare minimum it was, compared to what the wife gave back. These were the times where women could deliver up to ten children! Toil the land, cook and tend to the children, clean the compound, clean the man’s clothes, feed the kids and every other labour you could think of. A woman was required to never complain, never raise her voice back at her man and be a submissive maid. Unpaid labour, that’s what!
Now if we gave birth to one baby for you, we will remind you about it every single day until the day you die! How dare you mistreat me when I went into labour for you, to give birth your child? Women’s wombs in 2025 are sacred and you should consider yourself lucky that a woman somewhere was willing to give birth to your child….
And still, despite all the hard hard labour a woman back then did while all her husband did was wake up and head to busaa dens to drink with his peers, she still was restricted from eating the juicy parts of a chicken (hii huniuma sana btw) My grandma never ate eggs because tradition dictated that only men ate eggs….and gizzards, and mgongo ya kuku, drumsticks and other juicy parts. Women were lumped together with children and left to eat the less desirable parts.
So you understand then, when I say that Compared to the role women played, paying 6 sick looking cows or calves as dowry was doing the bare minimum.
But in 2025 where marriages last shorter than a viral TikTok trend, how viable are dowry payments?
And if you do decide to pay it, knowing all the risks involved before hand, are you not the fool then to come back and demand for them!
But sir, you knew!
You know yourself. That the modern man of 2025, he who cannot sustain a relationship for more than 6 months, goes ahead to pay dowry knowing fully well his weaknesses, is- as we so love to say – diabolical!
Marriages have become so fickle, so predictable.
One cannot help but wonder though, if it really is about the cows at that point.
Anyway, for the rest of us, we will be here to watch and judge – as we always have. After all, when you set up ring lights and go on TikTok lives to showcase the drama to all and sundry, is that not what you are wishing for?
So entertain us.
