Some things in life we forget as time goes by. Others stay with us forever. For every woman, the memory of having your first period is one that never leaves. That feeling of horror and realising what is truly happening can be really damning. The constant “if you play with boys your life will be ruined” now becomes a real threat. Now, innocent child you does not want to even share a seat with boys. You see them and turn the other way. For most millennials, this was the only sex talk they ever got, repeatedly drummed down our heads.
I don’t know about other countries, but in kenya growing up, sex education was the topic most parents ignored like the plague. On this, most of them buried their heads in the sand. Instead, we were constantly told about education being the key and how hard we really needed to work in our studies. Clearly, to them, that was all that really mattered.
When I was in lower primary at a private school in Mombasa, we had a single class that felt like a secret initiation into womanhood. A teacher showed us how to put on a pad and reminded us to “stay clean.” . I remembered them vividly telling us that as a girl, it did not really matter how sick you were. You had to wake up and wash your private parts, even if that was the only part of your body you had to wash. One lesson, that was it. That was their version of sex education.
Looking back, the cleanliness part was the least of our problems. The elephant in the room that no one addresses is the mental anguish that comes with an early period. It is the confusion and embarrassment, how your body suddenly feels like it betrays you in front of your classmates.
I still remember the sinking feeling when I saw my period for the first time. Ohh, the horror! I was too embarrassed to tell anyone. I was scared of even telling my own mom. The physical lesson had been taught, but the emotional one; the reassurance that this was normal, that I wasn’t “dirty” or “wrong” was never given.
For many girls in Kenya, that silence is the beginning of a long and lonely education about their own bodies.
What the Current Curriculum Covers
I remember our Life Skills class in Mombasa (that is what it was and still is called – life skills) . Girls were taught how to use a pad and boys got the biological bits, but no one talked about feelings, consent or what to do when emotions run wild.
On paper, both boys and girls are included in sex education under the Life Skills subject. A 2017 study across three counties revealed that 96% of students receive some sexuality education by the end of primary school. However it is important to note that this is mostly limited to HIV, hygiene and abstinence. Additionally, teachers rush through these lessons with some even skipping them entirely because Life Skills aren’t exam-focused, and the real-world topics like consent, emotional well-being or contraceptive guidance are, well, largely omitted.
Meanwhile, kwa ground, things are getting out of hand. A survey in Machakos County found teenage pregnancy is widespread. An average of 173 cases per year, with every school affected. The survey recommended that the Life Skills curriculum be revamped to include sex education that is taught by trained professionals and made examinable. Similarly, a multi-stakeholder forum underscored the importance of integrating Life Skills across all education levels backed by support from the Ministry of Education and curriculum developers. You can read more here; kenyanews.go.ke
Turning to policy frameworks, Kenya’s 2022–2032 National Reproductive Health Policy formally prioritizes reproductive health education and thankfully, aims to establish a universal health literacy framework for adolescents.
Meanwhile on the political front, Senator Catherine Mumma has emphasized that sex education must be age-appropriate and grounded in science and constitutional values. Her arguments are pretty solid and backed by stark statistics: 18% of girls aged 15–19 have been pregnant, and 62 new HIV infections occurred weekly among adolescents aged 10–19. While researching this, these figures really shocked me. Something urgent needs to be done and a structured, meaningful curriculum reform is a good place to start.
The Gaps
Kenya’s sex education has long been described as “teaching half the story.” To be honest, this is a fact that none of us can deny because while the curriculum does touch on biology, it avoids the deeper issues that young people grapple with every day. Let us go through some of the points that are omitted.
1. Emotional Support Is Missing
For girls like my younger self in Mombasa, menstruation comes with shame, fear and secrecy. The curriculum shows you how to put on a pad but says nothing about what it feels like to bleed in the middle of a math lesson. It does not address how to handle the sudden self-consciousness about your changing body. It is even worse with boys, who are left in the dark and rarely encouraged to understand or empathize with what girls experience. (I remember them laughing at girls and mocking their experiences).
2. Silence on Consent and Healthy Relationships
Consent is one of the most important lessons a young person can learn, yet it is almost absent in Kenyan classrooms. For the life of me, I do not know why this is so. Students are told “don’t do it” but never taught what respect looks like. They are not even taught how to recognize coercion (that happens mostly from the people familiar with these kids) or even how to say no without fear. This silence leaves both boys and girls ill-equipped to handle relationships, exposing them to toxic dynamics.
3. Contraception and Practical Knowledge
Abstinence remains the only widely taught prevention method, even though statistics show that many teenagers become sexually active by mid-adolescence. Without accurate knowledge of contraception, young people rely on myths, hearsay or unreliable sources on social media. The result is high rates of teenage pregnancy and unsafe abortions.
4. Menstrual Health Beyond Pads
Yes, Kenyan schools and NGOs have made strides in distributing sanitary pads, we can not take that from them. However, menstruation is still treated as a purely hygienic issue rather than a holistic one. There is little discussion about period pain and irregular cycles; let alone the emotional toll periods can take. These conversations need to be had because otherwise girls will continue to suffer in silence with others even missing school each month.
5. Leaving Boys Behind
What happens when boys are left out of meaningful conversations about sex education? The burden of understanding and managing sexual health ends up falling almost entirely on girls. Boys grow up without the tools to take responsibility, communicate openly or respect boundaries – an imbalance that fuels cycles of blame and stigma that affect everyone.
The Consequences
The cost ripples of failed sex education goes far beyond the school gates. For starters, we have teenage pregnancies. Kenya records over 300,000 teenage pregnancies every year(!!), according to the Kenya Demographic and Health Survey. What that means for most of these girls is either dropping out of school or ending up in an early marriage. The result of either of those options as we know it, is likely a lifetime of lost opportunities. The cycle of poverty tightens around them and their families.
And then we have the issue of diseases like HIV and Other STIs. With abstinence as the main prevention method taught in schools, many teenagers remain unaware of how to protect themselves once they do become sexually active. The result, as I mentioned earlier, is 62 new HIV infections among adolescents aged 10–19 every week. Add to this other untreated sexually transmitted infections and the health toll becomes staggering.
Another issue that comes up is unsafe Abortions. Misinformation about contraception leaves young people vulnerable. When pregnancy does happen, many girls turn to unsafe abortions and end up risking their health and in some cases, their lives.
All these are physical results, but what about the emotional and mental health struggles? What about the wounds we never get to see? How about the emotional scars that are often overlooked? Young people deal with shame and guilt without ever being given the language to express what they’re going through. For boys, silence turns into confusion and sometimes harmful behaviour while for girls, it often manifests as self-blame.
A Society That Pays the Price
What would have easily been prevented with a piece of chalk and an educator becomes a mammoth issue that society now has to carry. The burden might be too heavy for society to even carry – rising healthcare costs, high dropout rates and broken futures. Comprehensive sex education is more than just preventing pregnancies or diseases. It’s about building healthier and more informed communities.
What Needs to Change
It is quite clear that Kenya needs a new approach to sex education that goes beyond anatomy charts and veiled warnings (or threats for that matter). So, what can we as a society do?
1. Make It Comprehensive
Sex education should leave nothing out. It should address topics like puberty, contraception, consent, respect and – most importantly in my opinion – emotional well-being. A young person that understands both the physical and emotional aspects of relationships will definitely make healthier choices.
2. Train and Support Teachers
I have had this discussion with my sisters several times, both of whom are high school teachers. Truth is, teachers are often uncomfortable or unprepared to handle these lessons. They need proper training and resources so as to be able to create safe, open spaces where students feel free to ask questions without fear of judgment.
3. Normalize the Conversation
The responsibility does not just fall on teachers. Parents, guardians and religious leaders all have a role to play and must also be part of the solution. Leaving it all to schools creates a gap that misinformation quickly fills. Talk about it casually. Talk about it as a disciplinarian. Just, talk about it.
4. Policy That Has Teeth
Bills and policies calling for sex education must move beyond paper and be implemented with accountability. Making it an examinable subject would ensure it isn’t sidelined and is actually a step in the right direction. Also, monitoring would guarantee quality and consistency.
Bottom line, comprehensive sex education isn’t just about preventing teenage pregnancy or HIV. With it, young people have the tools to respect themselves and respect others. They are able to dream without fear and to live healthier lives.
When I think back to that day in Mombasa, learning only how to wear a pad but never how to deal with the shame of bleeding in class, I realize how much was left unsaid. Young people deserve better than silence.
It is not ignorance that will protect a child. Rather, it is knowledge that will.
